


Au Revoir

by sweeterthankarma



Category: Actor RPF, Divergent - All Media Types
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff, Song fic, based on a onerepublic song, i think i wrote this 3 years ago but honestly i still love it, i used to ship sheo so hard, this used to be on wattpad in the dark wattpad days
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-02
Updated: 2017-07-02
Packaged: 2018-11-22 06:58:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11374965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweeterthankarma/pseuds/sweeterthankarma
Summary: “I love you,” she murmured into my shoulder.I closed my eyes, breathing in her scent. “I love you, too, Shai. So much.”She straightened, then hugged me again- on the left side, this time. She’d always said that she preferred hugging on the left side, because the two people’s hearts were closer and connected better that way. I’d never believed it until now.“I’ll miss you,” she said, and I tried to ignore the fact that her voice cracked.Based off the song "Au Revoir" by OneRepublic.





	Au Revoir

**Author's Note:**

> Song fic based on "Au Revoir" by OneRepublic. I wrote this years ago before the Insurgent movie was even out, back when I was a hardcore Shailene/Theo shipper, so it's definitely outdated and I'm not sure if anyone will want to read this anymore, but I figured I'd post it anyways.

_ Today I’m not myself _

_ And you, you’re someone else _

 

**Theo’s Point of View**

I awoke in the darkness, seeing only the faint light of my cell phone illuminating in my peripheral vision. A quiet chime rung as my phone vibrated lightly against the bedside table, next to an empty bottle of water. I reached over to pick it up, sliding my thumb across the screen to unlock it and disable to the alarm that had set off. 

_ 6:50 AM. Flight at 11:00 AM, The Benefactor filming begins tomorrow! _

I let my head fall back against the pillow, taking a moment to wake up. Today was a day I was dreading, something I wasn't sure I was ready for- even though it was a great thing. 

Months ago, I’d been cast in a movie  _ The Benefactor _ , alongside Richard Gere and Dakota Fanning, that would film in Great Britain, right near my home town. I was excited, of course; glad to be apart of a movie with such great actors in such a big production. But there was one downside to all of this-for the past four months, I’d been in Georgia, filming the sequel to  _ Divergent _ \-  _ Insurgent _ . It had been some of the best times of my life, finally being reunited with one of the greatest casts I’d ever worked with, and of course- my girlfriend, Shailene. Living right down the hall from her (the entire cast stayed in the same hotel, on the same floor), going out to concerts and bars, and even just spending nights together in bed watching movies was something I’d waited for so long. The mere one month break between  _ Divergent _ promotion and sequel filming was almost too much for me to handle, not to mention Shai being away on her  _ The Fault in Our Stars  _ tour. Just being together was enough to make me happier than I ever imagined I could be. I didn’t want our time together to end, and I was afraid that my going away would bend- or even break- our relationship.

I forced myself out of bed and got dressed, then quickly made my way downstairs to the ballroom, where our producers were hosting a celebratory breakfast before we all parted our ways, since filming was now over.

I made my way through the crowd, filled with hundreds of people who I didn’t even know, but who I assumed were camera crew, editors, costume designers, and other workers like that. I spotted Shailene at the back of the room in an oversized gray sweatshirt-  _ my  _ oversized gray sweatshirt-, sitting next to Miles, with an empty seat next to her. Saved for me, I knew.

I caught her gaze and smiled, nodding my head at her to say hello. She smiled back, but there was something off in her expression, something almost...sad. It wasn’t her normal grin that almost always spread across her face whenever she saw me, but something smaller, more loose, as if it could easily fall of her face. Concern grew in my stomach, but I grabbed a plate of food before heading over to her table. 

 

_ And all these rules don’t fit _

_ And all that starts can quit _

 

    “Hey,” I said as I sat down, leaning over to kiss the top of her head. “Good morning, sunshine.”

    “Good morning,” Shailene replied quietly.

I frowned. “What, no song today?” I said. Every morning, as soon as she awoke, she sang, “good morning, good morning”, in the tune from “ _ Singin’ In the Rain _ ”. Every time I greeted her, she always sang it in response. This was the first time I could recall that she hadn’t.

“Already did,” she replied. She smiled again, with more strength this time, but it was still weak. 

I grasped her hand in mine, running my thumb over her knuckles. “Baby, are you okay?” I asked quietly, turning away from the rest of the table so we could have privacy. 

She bit her lip, but nodded. “Yeah, I’m fine, why?” She spoke quicker than usual, and didn’t hold my gaze for very long. But her grip on my hand tightened, and she covered my fingers with her other hand, holding me tightly.

    “You sure?” I asked. 

She looked up, her light eyes meeting mine. There was no makeup on her face- there almost never was-, but still, I was almost always taken aback by her natural beauty.

I didn’t want to leave her.

I knew, then, that that was what she was worried about. My being away, how we’d both handle without each other. It’d been nearly impossible in the past for us to even keep our hands off of each other in interviews or premieres or even just when filming dramatic scenes- how would we handle being in different countries? I’d done my best in the past to ignore it, thinking that if I didn’t focus on it, it wouldn’t happen. But now, with her eyes on mine and the plane ticket burning a hole in my back pocket, it was suddenly real. 

I didn’t say anything, because I didn’t know what I would say. I could hear the sounds of laughter and talking around us, our costars probably wishing we would engage in conversation. I sighed and leaned forward, pressing my lips gently against hers. I kissed her for longer than I should have, considering I could hear Rob talking and getting applause from those around us, and Miles making gagging noises, as he always did, whenever we showed affection towards each other. But I kept kissing her, just because I could, because in a few hours, I wouldn’t be able to. 

 

_ What a peculiar state we're in _

_ What a peculiar state we're in _

 

The breakfast wasn’t particularly entertaining. I’m sure it would have been, but I could barely pay attention to any conversation. I kept sneaking glances at Shai, who kept sneaking glances at me, and I just kept wondering how the hell long it would take before we could be let out so we could be alone.

When we finally were set to go, we bid our farewell to our costars, which we’d see in about six or seven months. I wasn’t very emotional about leaving them, I knew that I’d see them soon enough, and we still had two more movies to film. But Shai...shit, I couldn’t be without her for half an hour without missing her.

    “Want to help me pack?” I asked her as soon as we stepped outside.

As we stood alone in the elevator, she leaned against my side. “I’m going to miss you so much,” I said.

I pulled her into my chest, resting my chin atop her head. She was slightly shorter than me, so her head fit perfectly into the crook of my neck. I ran my fingers through her growing hair, down her back, and then up again, massaging her. I could feel her breaths against my collarbone, my heartbeat against her ear, and it took all my strength to not pull out my phone right then and there and call the producer and say it was off, that I couldn’t do the movie. I questioned it for a moment. It wasn’t a movie most people even knew about. What if it didn’t do well? I’d have spent all this time away from Shai just because of an opportunity that wasn’t even promising. 

She sighed as the elevator doors opened and pulled away from me, but I stopped her and brought her lips to mine again, just for a few seconds.  She didn’t question it, just slung her arms around my neck, her fingers brushing against my hairline, and I knew she understood. I wanted to memorize every single thing about her, so that I could keep her with me even when we were apart. 

 

_ Let's play the game _

_ Where all of the lives we lead can change _

_ Let's play the game _

_ Where nothing that we can see, the same _

 

**Shailene’s Point of View**

 

We spent an hour getting ready- only about fifteen minutes of actually getting his suitcases and bags together and the rest spent laying on the couch in each other's arms. I tried to be positive, to smile and just appreciate the time with him. But it was hard, knowing that in a few hours, he’d be gone for months.

    “I’ll come visit whenever I can,” he said once we were in the taxi, on our way to the airport. He absently traced the outline of my jaw with his thumb and then placed a kiss on it. His arms slipped around my waist and I pressed closer to him, feeling his heartbeat against my palm. “I promise.”

It wasn’t that I didn’t believe him, I knew he would. But I wasn’t sure if I would manage being away from him. For the past year and a half, we’d spent almost every day by each other’s side. He’d become a part of me, as necessary as an arm or an eye or a pulse. I didn’t want to let him go; I was afraid to. He was the reason for the smile on my face nearly every single day. I couldn’t imagine not waking up next to him, not laughing along to his bad jokes- who would I be without him by my side? 

 

_ We'll find other pieces to the puzzles _

_ Slipping out under the locks _

_ I could show you how many moves to checkmate, right now _

 

    “So,” I said, wanting to be positive. “When, you come back, what do you want to do?”

Theo brushed a few loose strands of hair away from my face, his eyes visible only by the faint streetlights outside. “Everything,” he said with a chuckle. I tried to laugh too, but my breaths only came out sounding weaker than ever.

    “I definitely want to take a trip somewhere,” he said after a moment, serious. “Someplace warm and tropical, since it’ll be cold in England. And it’s gotta be a long trip.” He smirked down at me. “A  _ very _ long trip.”

I raised my eyebrows at him. “Oh?”

He nodded. “Like, at least a month. Two, even.”

The thought of being with only him for so long made my heart jump. Just me and him, alone together, for as long as we wanted. I was lucky enough to have that right now- although under a time constraint-, and as the warmth of his body radiated through me and the flannel of his shirt brushed against my arms as he smoothed his hands over my own, I knew. I knew that I wanted him, and everything about him, and  _ this _ for the rest of my life.

    “So, what would we do?” I asked. I truthfully didn’t mind what I did as long as I was with him, but I was curious as to what he had in mind.

    “Well, if we go somewhere tropical, we should go to the beach at least every day. We could learn to surf, I’ve always wanted to do that. I could teach you more about chess, too.”

I grinned. While on set, we’d played chess almost every day during breaks. I wasn’t very good at it, and he always ended up beating me. “I could get you to checkmate and everything. But you should do some research while I’m gone.”

I faked irritation, but chuckled. “Of course, Theo, because I’d love to spend my time researching a board game.”

He laughed along with me. “Hey, you could teach me how to meditate and get all my auras in balance, too-”

I laughed. “ _ Chakras _ , Theo, they’re called chakras. Not auras.”

He scoffed. “Chakras, auras, same thing. We could do that, and whatever the hell else you want.”

The van pulled up to the curb of the front entrance to the airport. Theo opened the door, holding my hand to help me out. I smiled at him- a real smile. No matter what, I didn’t want him to know how upset I actually was. I didn’t want to make him regret taking this opportunity. He deserved it anyways; I didn’t want to get in the way of his success.

I stood in silence as the cab driver helped get the bags out of the trunk. Theo thanked him and handed him a fifty dollar bill, and I followed him wordlessly into the building.

 

_ We could take apart this life we're building _

_ And pack it up inside a box _

_ All that really matters is we're doing it, right now _

_ Right now _

 

**Theo’s Point of View**

 

I stood alongside Shai by the monitor that listed the arrivals and departures. I had about 20 minutes to spare until my plane left, and I wanted to spend as much of that time with her as I could. 

She hadn’t said a word since we’d entered the airport. She stood silent, her arms crossed over her stomach as she leaned against me. Her eyes were closed, and I could tell she was fighting back tears. 

I decided I had to say something. I couldn’t stand the silence. 

    “Hey,” I said, nudging her chin upwards so that her eyes could meet mine. “It’s gonna be alright. We’ll make this work, okay? It’s gonna be fine.”

She nodded, but it didn’t reach her eyes.

    “Shai,” I said, taking her face in my hands. “I mean it.”

She leaned her forehead against mine, slinging her arms around my neck. She let out a deep breath and then hugged me, her fingers tightening around my shoulder.

    “I love you,” she murmured into my shoulder.

I closed my eyes, breathing in her scent. “I love you, too, Shai. So much.”

She straightened, then hugged me again- on the left side, this time. She’d always said that she preferred hugging on the left side, because the two people’s hearts were closer and connected better that way. I’d never believed it until now.

    “I’ll miss you,” she said, and I tried to ignore the fact that her voice cracked.

We pulled away after a few minutes. Although I could have handled them on my own, Shailene still carried two of my bags with me to the gate. Her eyes were a little red, but she stood strong and smiled wholeheartedly at me every time we made eye contact nonetheless. 

We paused again, a few feet away the security man who would check my bags. I let go of my bags and leaned down to kiss her, softly, one last time, . Then, I said goodbye. And I walked away, because if I didn't then, I didn't think I ever would. I was beginning to find it hard to breathe.

I stood in the now much longer line to check my bags, growing impatient as the woman at the head of the line struggled to get her tickets out of her suitcase. 

I unlocked my phone, checking the time. My flight left in 12 minutes.

    "Shit," I muttered until my breath. If I missed this flight, I didn't know if I could catch a new one. I checked the monitor. No other flights to anywhere in the UK.

I tapped my foot, willing the woman to hurry up. I turned, looking for Shailene. I saw her exit through the automatic doors, and something inside me fell apart.

I was clearly causing her pain, and I was hurting myself, too. I loved her, I wasn't supposed to hurt her. I thought of all the experiences we'd had together, how much we'd changed and grown with one another. When I first arrived at the first official day of  _ Divergent  _ filming, I had no idea how much my life would change. How would my life change with this new production? Would it be for the better?

The line moved.

What if we couldn't handle the long distance relationship? I couldn't imagine not having her in my life. That would ruin the  _ Allegiant  _ filming, too. And what about Shai? She mainly lived at friends' houses- what if she met another man? I knew she loved me, but I also knew being away from each other would be hard. If she missed me, who and what would she rely to feel okay again? What would I rely on?

The line moved again.

A baby in front of me started crying, and suddenly, I felt frantic, like I had somewhere to be and I didn't know where. I tried to calm my brain and slow my breathing. Think of Shailene, I thought to myself. How is she always so relaxed?

I glanced outside again. I could see the faint silhouette of her, leaning against the wall, hailing another cab.

There was only three people in front of me now.

I was afraid of being without her. It was almost unhealthy how much I needed her by my side. Even now, as she stood yards away, it felt too far. I just wanted to touch her, to hold her, to never let go.

Two people in front of me.

I turned away and checked the time again. Nine minutes. I could make it in time- hopefully, if security was quick. I didn't even know where my gate was, though, it could be all the way across the airport. I swore under my breath again.

One person in front of me.

I unfolded the ticket, smoothing it over with my palm. I didn't turn back, I didn't want to see Shailene get into the taxi and move away from me, just as I was moving away from her.

_ Get her out of your head _ , I told myself, not because I wanted to forget about her, but because if I didn't, I would lose my mind.

    "Next," the security guard said.

I wheeled my bags forward, cleared my throat, unfolded the ticket and outstretched the ticket to the man. I turned around, wanting to see Shai one last time. The cab pulled up.

And then, right before the guard grasped the ticket- I pulled my hand back. I spun my body around, muttering an apology, and dragged my suitcases behind me. With my heartbeat in my throat and every bone in my body burning with anticipation, I ran towards the doors, back outside.

I heard pedestrians grumble as I stumbled past them, but I didn't car. Shai was getting into the car, just about to shut the door.

    "Shailene!" I yelled, praying to God that I wouldn't attract attention.

As she turned her head, it felt as if everything was in slow motion, like I was waking up.

And I knew then, that this was what I wanted. To be with her, here and now. There was no use in waiting until later- what if we didn't get later? She always told me that doing what the heart wants, the moment that it wants it, was the best way to live life. I smiled to myself. She really was rubbing off on me.

    "Theo?" she called, confused. "What's wrong?"

I abandoned my bags behind me and pulled her into my arms before she could protest. I picked her up off her feet, swinging her around, and then kissed her full on the mouth, not caring that the cab driver was staring and looking rather annoyed.

    "Come with me," I whispered.

Her face was stricken with confusion. "What?!" 

    "Please."

She stepped back, shaking her head and pressing her hands to her forehead. "Theo...what the hell are you talking about? What are you doing? You're- you're going to miss your flight, oh my God," she said, checking her watch. "Theo, it's five minutes until 11:00. Everyone's probably already on the plane as we speak."

    "I know," I said, almost proudly. "I don't care. I want to be with you."

Her eyes widened. "Theo, what?! You can't pass this up, this is-"

    "Well, I am!" I tugged the crumpled ticket out from the pocket and ripped it in half, throwing it into the nearby trash can.

The cab driver honked his horn. "You both need a ride?" he asked, breathing out his cigarette smoke and flicking the butt out the window.

    "No!" Shailene yelled. "No. I mean..."

     "I can't be without you," I said. "And I decided I'm not going to. You're stuck with me, like it or not. I've clearly already missed my flight at this point, there's no going back."

Shai smiled a little, but still looked at me in utter horror. "So, what the hell," she said. "You just lost an entire movie role for...what? This is ridiculous, Theo, oh my God."

I shrugged. "Opportunities come and go."

    "But this one could have been great!" she protested. "This could have been, like, the best movie you've ever done with the raddest people you've ever met. It could have opened your eyes to so many things, you could have-"

I pressed my mouth to hers, silencing her. "Shut up and come to Hawaii with me."

She stared at me. 

    "I saw flights leaving in five hours to Hawaii. Come with me, let's take our vacation now."

She was silent for a moment, and I had a feeling she was either going to slap me or jump into my arms. A plane- probably the one I was supposed to be on right now- soared loudly overhead.

    "Theo James," Shailene said, "you are  _ the  _ most fucking psychotic individual I have ever met in my entire life."

I smirked. "So that's a yes?"

She took my hand, slamming the taxi door shut. "Of course it's a yes."

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! You can message me on Tumblr under the same username if you like :)


End file.
